i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
