She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
