If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
