You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
false alarm, still single
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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