hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
