i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
