I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
