Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
