a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
