we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
