My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize