xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize