so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
