He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize