i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
