i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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