she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
