i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
