Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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