is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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