They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
