hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
