I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
