Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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