i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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