If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
