we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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