its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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