You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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