i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
