have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
