if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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