Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
