it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
