No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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