Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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