But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
