coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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