when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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