Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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