Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
