Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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