Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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