woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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