So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
