how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
