im holly from the hills drunk
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
