Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
