Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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