im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
