did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
