i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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