I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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