Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
