Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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