Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
