East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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