someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize