btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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