i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize