Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
