she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
