Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My bed smells like the plague
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